I have decided to take control of the situation. I really need to come up with a game plan so that I can get on with my life. So, as a first step I called Dr. I-Don't-Want-To-Scare-You-But's office to arrange a second consultation. Dr. IDWTSYB is a well known surgeon who specializes in gynecological oncology. He is the guru of minimally invasive surgery, the Roger Federer of the laproscope.
Now it must be stated for the record that Dr. IDWTSYB is a kind, compassionate, soft-spoken doctor who patiently answers your questions and looks you straight in the eye when he talks to you. I have no reason to doubt his sincerity or his intentions. I met Dr. IDWTSYB for the first time three weeks ago to discuss the details of my castration. Oops, I used a naughty word. The medically correct term is bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. He showed me a coloring book type drawing of a female's body below the navel and began circling all the organs that now have bright red targets painted on them. Ovaries: Out. Fallopian tubes: Out. The uterus can stay. I expressed my usual degree of distress and horror at the prospect of losing most of my perfectly healthy internal female bits, at which point, DR. IDWTSYB earned his new moniker. Please feel free to insert the relevant phrase as applicable. These are direct quotes:
"My sister-in-law has breast cancer. Trust me, you don't want that."
Really???? And here I was thinking this entire time that a bout with breast cancer would be a great summertime distraction.
"Osteoporosis is the least of your problems."
"Sometimes women wait to have the surgery and then we open them up and find an abdomen full of cancer."
"If you get ovarian cancer, it will ruin your life. Even if we can cure it, you'll spend the rest of your life worrying that it will come back."
And finally, while looking me straight in the eye, without being asked: "If you were my wife, I would be begging you to have this surgery."
The thing is, I'm not his wife and even if I was, it would still be MY decision.
Hi Dee,
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in all of this. Since I found out about my BRCA1+ mutation I have encountered so many wonderful & caring people. A few great places for you to meet others:
http://brcaumbrella.ning.com/
This site was started by Leigh Ann Jones, it's a social networking type of site for those with BRCA1 & BRCA2. A lot of great ladies (and one man) here.
Also, if you are into facebook, there are a few different groups that you can sign up for, and that gives you a chance to meet more people that have gone through every stage of this, from first finding out about the mutation all the way to completed surgeries.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=24000288159
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=16857675783
And of course there is the FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered) website with tons of info and message boards galore.
For me it's helped tremendously to reach out to others in my same situation. Doing so makes you feel better, because you don't feel so alone in all of this. Hope some of this has been helpful. Feel free to find me on facebook, or email me if you'd like: teri.smieja@verizon.net
Take care!
Posted by: Teri Smieja | June 10, 2009 at 02:46 PM